Be bold and be condemned.
“Wala kang makikitang UP na nagyayabang pag may ibang tao na”
I quote Diliman Republic from this page http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10150143472589750&set=a.234946049749.166689.198180324749&ref=nf
Pero kids, ganyan lang talaga mga taga-UP, pagnag-samasama na sila-sila lang, naku yabangan at panlalait galore. Pero pag may kasama ng iba, quiet na yan. Wala kang makikitang UP na nagyayabang pag may ibang tao na.
In my case, totoo ang statement na ito. Kapag may family gatherings kasi kami, hindi ako umiimik sa tuwing ikinukwento ng mga pinsan kong non-UP graduates ang mga paghihirap nila noong sila ay estudyante pa. Ganito rin kapag may get-together ang tropa; tahimik lang ako kapag universities na ang usapan, lalo pa at ako lang sa amin ang sa UP nag-aaral. Pero bakit nga ba natatameme ako? Unang-una, naglalaho sa utak ko ang cliche na UP and Others dahil kahit hindi sila taga-UP, mataas ang tingin ko sa kanila. Para anupa’t naging pinsan nila ako at kaibigan kung mababa lang din naman ang tingin ko sa kanila. Ikalawa, mahal ko sila kaya ayaw ko silang mapahiya. May maisasagot ba sila kapag ako na nabuhay sa kupalan at yabangan ang nagsalita? Ikatlo, ayaw kong ipagmalaki ang aking kagalingan dulot ng pag-aaral sa unibersidad kung hindi pa naman ako nakakakuha ng diploma mula rito. Ayaw kong maging ipokrita dahil sa pagyayabang sa labas habang hirap naman sa pagpasa sa loob.
Sa ngayon ay ito ang aking mga dahilan. Ang tanong, hanggang kailan ako mananahimik?
Letters to God
I quote 2 Corinthians 3:2-3
You yourselves are the letter we have, written on our hearts for everyone to know and read. It is clear that Christ himself wrote this letter and sent it by us. It is written, not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, and not on stone tablets but on human hearts.
Please spend some time daily talking to God, be it by letter, silent time or the usual prayer. Believe and you will be amazed how God responds to our prayers.
Whatta day! OTL
A job fair was conducted at the university today. I passed my resume to San Miguel Brewery and had an informal interview with the Human Resource representative. I was not able to give even one good answer. T.T I did not know what to say; no good answer came to my mind. Good thing the HR representative was nice; though I talked nonsense, I managed to stay cool. It was such a shameful experience (seven hours have passed but I can still feel the shame). I couldn’t handle the embarrassment so I went out of the hall few minutes after the mock interview.
Then, I treated myself with spaghetti meat ball and caramel frappe to somehow lessen the heaviness of emotions that I bear. After almost two hours of chilling at the coffee shop, I went to BDO to deposit cash on someone’s (I can’t tell) account. I have been in the queue for more than 30 minutes and yet I still had a long way to go. If that someone did not need the money today, I would have left when I saw the queue. I spent almost two hours in that bank just to deposit 6 grand!
I was so tired and sleepy so I went home. The problem is, I CAN’T GET IN (my keys have been missing for more than a day now). My housemates weren’t there so I had to go somewhere else because I did not want to wait outside without knowing what time they would come. I spent one and a half hours in a coffee shop then decided to wait for them outside the apartmenr. It’s nearly 5pm so I thought it won’t be long before they get home. I was right. Ann came I think 30 minutes after I went back. And now here I am, narrating this very exciting, interesting and productive day. GAAAAHHHHH!
What would Jesus do?
I am the so-called president of an organization. There will be a bid book competition (with categories Individual, Group, and Project) on March and I have decided not to join because I do not think that our chapter performed so well this year, we do not have a budget for the book and, we only had two projects this year (the others were merely participation on others’ activities). Three of my members contacted me and seemed to be interested in joining the competition. I asked them some things with regards to the org and the competition so that if they would give me good answers, I could consider joining. My questions weren’t answered. The catch is, our chapter has passed a pre-entry form. I knew what they were up to the moment my secretary did not respond to my message.
I said that this blog is about how life treats me and how I respond to it. But right now, I really do not know how to respond. I am angry. Bad things such as leaving our online group and blocking them on my account come to my mind. I imagine myself ignoring them on the street, ignoring their messages, cutting all the ropes that links me to them. I can do that but I do not want to leave my responsibilities and friends just because of them. However, I cannot be plastic either; that’s against my virtue. What to do? What to do?
What would Jesus do?
now i know
I went to the fair with my roommate and her friends. While having fun listening to a band, I did something that made her mad. Well I hit her on the head but I did not mean to hurt her. It’s just kind of joke but she said she’s hurt. It’ obvious that she’s mad and I ruined her mood. I know that it’s really my fault and I am very sorry for that that’s why I just kept quiet and did not bug her at all since then.
When the band finished playing, we walked home, still with her friends, but I kept my distance from her. I noticed that she does not even try to glance to see whether I am still there or not. I was alone walking behind them. It was really embarrassing because there were lots of people walking I was the only one who’s alone.
As I said, I know that it really is my fault; but I never knew that she would allow me to look like a trash, ever. NOW I KNOW. Though I did not have my keys with me, I walked faster and left them. It was REALLY EMBARRASSING. When I walked past a group of mean BA Communication Arts students, they sang Queen’s Alone. In addition to my embarrassment, when I walked past a group of guys, someone said, “Uy si Ate mag-isa.” I just had to walk faster to look as if I have a problem or something like that.
Now I do not know how to deal with her. I am planning to tell her that I admit doing bad thing but I never knew that she could do that to me. I do not know what its effect would be but I think that it will make me feel better.
Good thing we only have more than a month to stay in one room.
I never expected that we’ll be in such situation. 
too lonely to give a title
Just came from the fair. I FEEL SO ALONE.
I used to have two solid circles of friends. They’re both gone now. I guess this is the curse of being extended and snob at the same time. ARGH.
FRIENDS. SOCIAL LIFE. Still have them. But nothing compares to the companies that I had.
karma of assuming
Today is February 14 and I am alone in the apartment. I really want to go out but my roommate has her own company and my orgmates did not respond from my message. An acquaintance sent me a message. Here’s how the conversation went.
Guy: What are you doing now?
Me: Nothing. Why?
Guy: Feel bored kakaka [he's Korean]
Me: Do you want me to ask you out? ‘Cause if you do, just tell me. I could use some company too.
Guy: Haha next time haha thanks Milla
I felt rejected but not really embarrassed. 
A friend of mine told me that he would just say he is so alone, that he wants company but would not ever ask a girl out. That’s why I asked him if he wants me to ask him out. I was willing to because as I said, I really want to go out. And he is not my type so I won’t be putting a bit of malice on it. But he rejected me. I guess he just wants to exchange sms with me. Well, I’m through with that stage.
Now I will be preparing because I will be going out with my roommate later. She’s pissed with her orgmates so she’s gonna give me company.
I wanna drink some beer too but I don’t wanna look like depressed because of not having a date today. Haha.
bless you
Someone got in our apartment just now. Fuck! He’s a boy. Yes, a boy, maybe around thirteen years old. I caught him inside but I did not know what to do. I was afraid that he might do something to hurt me. All I did was to say, “Hoy! Anong ginagawa mo dito?” He immediately went out and never looked back. His face was covered, showing that he’s ready if ever he would be caught. I felt so stupid for not doing anything. I could have locked the door so that he cannot get out but I was really afraid though he’s much smaller than me. STUPID ME. Random thoughts came to my mind like, it’s really hard when there’s no man in the house, I should have answered when he asked about plastics and can (yes, I think that he’s the one who always asks for plastics and cans). Well, lesson learned. This won’t happen again.
My roommate Grace and I checked the other room where the boy got in. I was relieved when I saw the laptop on the table. But there’s an open purse in the drawer but we do not know if there was something in it. I have decided to replace the amount gotten from my housemates, if there is, since it is my fault. YES, MY FAULT BECAUSE I DID NOT LOCK THE GATE. I just wish that they won’t be mad at me because of that.
Because of this incident, some realizations came to me.
- Maybe I feel so strong because I haven’t had problems as big as others are having.
- I must not give sympathy to everyone. If I do, shame on me because I will be fooled most of the time.
- House thieves have flexible work hours. They also come in the morning.
- Take care always.
May God bless him more so that he won’t have to do that anymore. If I am allowed to say that I am more blessed than him, then I will. But I think that God blesses us equally; we just see his blessings differently thus we also react in different ways. So much for this.
May God bless us all especially those who needs it more.
I am happy that I decided to write about this because if I did not, I would not have thought about the blessings that God is giving me. Be good, be better, BE YOURSELF.
Attachment
Picture from http://mirror-au-nsw1.gallery.hd.org/_exhibits/maths/knot-half-hitch-black-backdrop-orange-nylon-rope-1-AJHD.jpg
The text is MINE.
